tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30038308.post7129958706575707267..comments2023-02-14T01:54:11.994-08:00Comments on Baby Lox: What does Hashem want from me?Happy Mom of 6http://www.blogger.com/profile/13111212751790891629noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30038308.post-31019084943988189872007-03-29T13:17:00.000-07:002007-03-29T13:17:00.000-07:00No one else seems to have posted it so: you might ...No one else seems to have posted it so: you might also want to try Machon Puah (Rav Menachem Borstein) tel in Israel (02) 651-5050 or 1-700-707607<BR/><BR/>titchazki!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30038308.post-89664962355498602342007-03-22T21:53:00.000-07:002007-03-22T21:53:00.000-07:00After a year of fertility treatments, where being ...After a year of fertility treatments, where being Niddah meant another failure I had to deal with without the comfort of my husband's hugs, I spent weeks 0-8 and weeks 12-14 Niddah of this pregnancy. I'm now at week 31.<BR/><BR/>The staining and bleeding was caused by vanishing twin syndrome, so there was no doubt the bleeding was uterine. Has the doctor been able to determine what's causing the bleeding?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30038308.post-49290553085284492242007-03-22T16:19:00.000-07:002007-03-22T16:19:00.000-07:00If this happened to my wife, I would call Rav Mosh...If this happened to my wife, I would call Rav Moshe Tendler in Monsey. In addition to being a Talmid Chacham and the son-in-law of Rav Moshe, he is a professor of biology and will be able to offer knowledge on all aspects of the problem. He is also fearless.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30038308.post-43225053112226355432007-03-22T14:38:00.000-07:002007-03-22T14:38:00.000-07:00Rabbi Moshe Segal z"l of Kfar Chabad's oldest daug...Rabbi Moshe Segal z"l of Kfar Chabad's oldest daughter, Uzzit (sister-in-law of Rav Yitzchak Ginzburg), who is now almost 70, had 20 children (and two more adopted). She was pregnant, as I recall, for the first 9 years of her marriage - constantly. Then, the children came once every year and a bit. All single births. She was very active in educational programs and after Rav Ginsburg took off in popularity was always organizing his early efforts. So, since there are always people in different situations than you, you should be encouraged that it is is possible to persevere and I am sure that you will gather the strength needed.YMedadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14333122797414935958noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30038308.post-48161751900423045422007-03-22T11:08:00.000-07:002007-03-22T11:08:00.000-07:00anon - I have heard of her - but I have a great dr...anon - I have heard of her - but I have a great dr. that I trust, thanks<BR/><BR/>married and - thank you for your good wishes - and your link. This has been an amazing welcome to the jblog world.<BR/><BR/>swfm - dont know how I do what? be a mommy? - I think we are supposed to believe that Hashem doesn't give us anything we can't handle.. so we do out best - and daven for the rest.<BR/><BR/>frumhouse - thanks for the advice. We have pretty much reviewed all the halachic possibilites - I got a lot of interesting heterim with Rabbis names too - so I will do a little more research and see what we come up with. We are really just hoping that it will stop. Thanks for the link - I think I have read that whole site in the past 2 weeks. It is a great resource.Happy Mom of 6https://www.blogger.com/profile/13111212751790891629noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30038308.post-40880138750028371082007-03-22T06:59:00.000-07:002007-03-22T06:59:00.000-07:00Bashaa Tova! First of all, I probably don't have ...Bashaa Tova! First of all, I probably don't have to tell you how quickly those 9 months go - so hang tight.<BR/><BR/>As far as the nida thing - that is very difficult. However, if you can get 5 stain-free days (and you can change your underwear an unlimited time to accomplish this)you can also make an unlimited number of attempts to get that first hefsek. Some rabbis will even give permission to forgo the mochet duchet and do fewer bedikot in the subsequent 7 days. Also, remember that in addition to a stain, you also need to feel hargosho for it to be 100% no good. If you can just get to the mikvah, you can be good to go for the remainder of the pregnancy by only using colored toilet paper/underwear/pantyliners and DON'T check again.<BR/><BR/>I would go back to your rav - it doesn't seem that you should have to be a nida that long. Maybe he didn't realize that this is a situation that would continue for months.<BR/><BR/>This web site is a great resource -<BR/><BR/>http://www.yoatzot.org/category.php?id=36frumhousehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02735783157413222489noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30038308.post-71023166266360832502007-03-22T05:37:00.000-07:002007-03-22T05:37:00.000-07:00I just found you from raggedy. Very nice blog goo...I just found you from raggedy. Very nice blog good luck and keep strong. I don't know how you do it but kol hakavod.socialworker/frustrated momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10352262399235382201noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30038308.post-10251369295814789522007-03-22T05:28:00.000-07:002007-03-22T05:28:00.000-07:00We hope that you are able to find the strength and...We hope that you are able to find the strength and get through the issues you have, and iyh find a solutionMarried and Navigating Jewish Brooklynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07175485110023780073noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30038308.post-8760683404304447942007-03-22T02:08:00.000-07:002007-03-22T02:08:00.000-07:00You should contact a frum Ob/GYN. You are not alon...You should contact a frum Ob/GYN. You are not alone; there are plenty of solutions acceptable to even Haredi poskim. Try contacting Dr. Schreiber, in Givat Shaul, Jerusalem.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30038308.post-77534739458024308552007-03-22T01:36:00.000-07:002007-03-22T01:36:00.000-07:00Rafi g - thanks - sorry didnt see your commentTama...Rafi g - thanks - sorry didnt see your comment<BR/><BR/>Tamara - I think you are right. I never would have thought that 'venting' online and receiving so much support would be so helpful.<BR/><BR/>deemer - that sounds interesting - definitely not what my rav had in mind..I dont know how comfortable I would feel with that psak - though I guess a competent rav would have basis for his views - watch out for my email, i would like to hear more.<BR/><BR/>anon - what we were doing was supposed to be 99%...though we will have to move on to something new next time I imagine... baby nurse sounds great - but I dont know if that would work for me- we dont have much room in the house as it is. Thanks for the idea though!<BR/><BR/>yoelb - the rav actually suggested I look into such options - he actually said he does not believe in them - but that he wanted me to know they exist. But I remember the 'mastik temani' from my first preganancy- and somehow eating grass 3 times a day just would be to difficult for me right now. Maybe there are other options. ThanksHappy Mom of 6https://www.blogger.com/profile/13111212751790891629noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30038308.post-71619507368262438042007-03-21T19:21:00.000-07:002007-03-21T19:21:00.000-07:00gHave you tried medical alternatives in conjunctio...gHave you tried medical alternatives in conjunction with the medical care you are already getting? For the immediate situation, homeopathy may be of benefit and it is safe. If you email me at classicalhomeopathy-at-mac-youknowwhat-com I may be able to give you a referral in your area, and could answer any other questions you might have.YoelBhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05799351102321248350noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30038308.post-13554547453734267662007-03-21T16:51:00.000-07:002007-03-21T16:51:00.000-07:00First of all, Good For YOU!!! Someone needs to do...First of all, Good For YOU!!! Someone needs to do this so others in this situation can share, learn, and support each other. This is so important. I am so happy you did this.<BR/>Second of all, I wish you only good things and help. I agree that help in the house is vital. I also stand in support of a baby nurse after you give birth, IY"H. Hopefully all will go well and I urge you to even borrow from a Gamach if necessary to pay for a nurse for as long as you can. It is very expensive, but I learned (and I am the ultimate mommy's mommy) that it is super important if you are feeling nervous about caring for a new one. You need to reserve early, though. You may be concerned about Ayin Hara, but most women who get nurses do so in advance. Now, last of all, and please bear in mind that I do not, not, not judge you. You titled this "What does Hashem want from you?" When you decided to space, you decided on a specific way to do so that was not effective. That's OK, but that isn't necessarily Hashem sending you a message. It may be Hashem sending you the Tevah he created in this world and some methods are more effective than others. Many frum women space their children with methods that are 99% effective. Every close friend I have, some with over 6 children, use these more effective methods and are Torah Jews. I recommend that you put that in your back pocket for future reference and I wish you only good things and a healthy, happy baby. Again, thank you so much for sharing this important information in this way. It is going to help so many Frum women.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30038308.post-59995158004460534492007-03-21T16:30:00.000-07:002007-03-21T16:30:00.000-07:00About the niddah issue. I'm not sure your stateme...About the niddah issue. I'm not sure your statement that there is no halachic way around this is correct. <BR/><BR/>I was pregnant with my second, and I basically spotted from the second I was pregnant until my third month. (Fourth?) I didn't even bother asking a shaylah, until I couldn't take it anymore. Finally, I called my rav (very respected and known over the world) and he told me that if I've seen the baby's heartbeat, to just wear black and go to the mikvah after seven days. NO CHECKING. Period. You can email me and I will give you more information about this rav's name, etc, and maybe your rav can confer with him.<BR/><BR/>Good luck! Write more often!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30038308.post-24846938545942876622007-03-21T14:25:00.000-07:002007-03-21T14:25:00.000-07:00I think a great way for support and mind space is ...I think a great way for support and mind space is blogging; granted you need to have the time to do it. Either way, if you can keep writing, you should. <BR/><BR/>I wish you the best, I sincerely do.Tamarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15749298944837540784noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30038308.post-58666609407391326702007-03-21T13:40:00.000-07:002007-03-21T13:40:00.000-07:00miriam - will do - thankstzipporah - thanks for yo...miriam - will do - thanks<BR/><BR/>tzipporah - thanks for your chizzuk. I actually told my husband to take me out - I needed to speak to an adult one on one. But you are right - perhaps friendsis the way to go. though erev Pesach not sure who, including me, will have time to hang out. I have been talking on the phone alot. That helps me - though not sure that my kids appreciate that - or their tired mommy.<BR/><BR/>mother in israel - thanks for the advice. i have tried to implement some of it. I got some help - but I think it frustrates me more to have someone do it 'wrong' than it does just not to do it myself. But I am an not an idiot- I will wait until after pesach to ask her to leave. <BR/>I have decided to spot nursing - thought I dont thin kthe little one agrees with my decision.<BR/>There is not risk of birth defects to the baby - just whether or not it will make it to full term. Thank you for your chizzuk and good wishes.Happy Mom of 6https://www.blogger.com/profile/13111212751790891629noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30038308.post-29351085039777383322007-03-21T12:29:00.000-07:002007-03-21T12:29:00.000-07:00First of all, beshaa tova!I suggest not worrying a...First of all, beshaa tova!<BR/><BR/>I suggest not worrying about what Hashem wants from you yet--it takes time, sometimes years, to get perspective. I suggest keeping your mind occupied with practical matters. How can you make sure that you and your family get through this very stressful period without longterm negative effects? For example, removing yourself from any activities that are not necessary. Getting any kind of help you can afford, including volunteer teenagers. Teaching your older children to take on as many tasks as they can handle (within reason of course). Putting whatever energy you have into your children, especially the baby, and not the house. Rest and relax with the baby as much as you can. Kids need you to talk to them and hug them more than anything else, and those are not physically challenging nor even time-consuming.<BR/><BR/>The niddah issue is not a small thing and there are many practical implications aside from the obvious. At any rate, will it help to remember that as difficult as this is it is still temporary? As is this whole situation? By the time the baby is born, be"H, the children will all be older and more independent. <BR/><BR/>I counsel bf mothers and have also nursed two children at once so let me know by email if you need nursing or weaning support, or help making the decision.<BR/><BR/>May I ask if the baby is at risk for any problems, or only the pregnancy?<BR/><BR/>You are a strong, loving family and hopefully you live in a supportive community. <BR/><BR/>I wish you the best and I plan to keep reading.mother in israelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13715046177293916034noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30038308.post-44874589295338272172007-03-21T09:36:00.000-07:002007-03-21T09:36:00.000-07:00hang in there, honey!! You have a lot to deal with...hang in there, honey!! You have a lot to deal with.<BR/><BR/>Practical suggestion: STRONG WOMEN to support you. Yes, I know all your friends are probably also coping with lots of kids as well and all the work that entails, but given the niddah situation, I think you are entitled to at least one afternoon/evening a week to spend with friends, without the kids around. I know it's done wonders for me.Tzipporahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08807511259582331073noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30038308.post-25177275447111931232007-03-21T09:09:00.000-07:002007-03-21T09:09:00.000-07:00Hi -Please email me at MSDBerger@gmail.com. I need...Hi -<BR/>Please email me at MSDBerger@gmail.com. I need to speak with you. I might be able to help.<BR/>-MiriamMiriam SDBhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05654064181576885196noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30038308.post-75795004468678028272007-03-21T07:23:00.000-07:002007-03-21T07:23:00.000-07:00Hatzlacha.. keep strongHatzlacha.. keep strongRafi G.https://www.blogger.com/profile/00699851287106903971noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30038308.post-82330699853344450292007-03-21T01:29:00.000-07:002007-03-21T01:29:00.000-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.Rafi G.https://www.blogger.com/profile/00699851287106903971noreply@blogger.com