Friday, March 23, 2007

It's all in the attitude

After hearing a shiur by R' Lazer Brody, Reb. Sima Spetner, and R' Michael Laseri -I have been thinking. All of them talk about attitude, and the woman's ability to influence the feeling in the home. Whether it is towards the children or her husband. When the Mommy in the house is upbeat it makes the house a more pleasant place to be. I know that I have not been the epitome of upbeat cheer these past couple of months. Now I am really trying, but my energy level is so low. I am sure my kids are sick of seeing mommy in bed again. My daughter even asked if I have been sick so long - if I am sick with the same thing or if I have something new...

One of our wedding wishes on the video was "A happy wife is a happy life (he then continues with "if you take out the garbage the first night, it will become your job forever." but never mind) I know he was referring to the husband making the wife happy - but what if the wife is just happy on her own?

I have decided to try. really try. Trying to keep things upbeat - and take notice of the kids more. Not the I have been ignoring them - but probably not initiating conversation as much as I should have. I gave one kid a hug out of the blue and came to hug me back about 7 times over the following 2 hours. It made me realize how much I had been focusing on me and not them. I can't forget that I am their mommy. No one else can do that for me.

So along those same lines -I have been trying to notice the cute things my kids do to help me focus on being positive. Here are a couple:

I was reading the news online and their was a picture of dancing with stars. My little son says "When I grow up, I want to dance and pick up a not tzanua girl." Well he totally caught me off guard - I did not even notice he was there. So my first response was - "No you dont - he's a goy" (remember first response - probably not what I would have said if I had a chance to think for a second.) To which he responds "ok, so when i grow up I want to be a goy that dances and pick up a not tzanua girl." Well from now on I wont be checking the news with my door open.

This can't really be appreciated fully unless you are in Israel - but my little daughter had a stomachache. And she was telling me that it was hurting her - with the cutest face she said "My Button hurts" - that is a cross between 'Beten' - hebrew for stomach, and belly button. I had to try not to laugh.

Now understand that pesach is coming and I have not started to clean yet. One week to go. So far I have vacummed the couches, it is better than nothing. But that in itself is a reason to be stressed. Or perhaps a reason to be happy. At least we have a place to sit on Pesach.

(For all those Flybabies - my 15 minutes of computer time are up - got to go do something else for 10 minutes...)

Have a good Shabbos.


RaggedyMom said...

I'm with you on the fact that the mother's attitude in a family can have a tremendous impact. I realize often that the way that I present things to everyone can make or break the moment.

I really sympathize - it must be so difficult to try and maintain the attitude you want with the roller coaster ride you're in the middle of.

Hang in there and have a great Shabbos!

frumhouse said...

The woman does set the tone of the house, I agree. Cute story.

I have a 4 year old who was so enamored by the Xmas decorations in stores, he tried valiantly to convince me that Jewish people could celebrate Xmas too. When I explained to him no, he removed his kippah and said, "Ok, now I'm not Jewish. Can I celebrate Xmas now?" He seems to think wearing or not wearing a kippah is what makes a person a Jew. LOL! Looks like I have more explaining to do.

So, you're a flybaby. I am not disciplined enough to stick with the program - maybe you have some secrets to share?

Happy Mom of 6 said...

Raggedymom- thanks for your words of support - and for stopping by

Frumhouse - Cute story- kids can be so clear about their 'needs" sometimes... I have been trying to flap my wings on and off for about 6 years now. I only get the JFb mails now and the Flying in Israel ones. I cant deal with her list - it is too overwhelming. The only difference is that I am aware of what I am doing wrong - and I have some good habits that I developd over time. Though my husband just commented that we now have help 3 times a week (just this past month) and the house looks worse then it ever I guess I have to keep flapping :)

Anonymous said...

When my wife is in a good mood she turns me around in jiff, and so if chas veshulem not....

Happy Mom of 6 said...

nuch - I *know* it is true - but that doesnt make it easy...we are not malachim and sometimes when you "lose it" it is hard to get back on track..