Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Getting back to chametz

Pesach was fun, and tiring. Aside from the little incident involving a 3 year old and soup nuts on the last night, things were pretty uneventful. Cooking, eating, visiting with family and friends, trips, more cooking and more eating etc.. Probably the same as pretty much the rest of the world.

I finally stopped nursing completely and my baby is eating a lot. He seems to have had some trouble adjusting to his new diet, as he developed an ear infection and some sort of digestive issue. I think he may have even lost wight from not being able to keep anything down - but Baruch Hashem he seems to be over whatever it was. I feel SOOO guilty that I stopped nursing him. I nurse all my kids as long as possible because they all start out with food issues. My doctor had told me that I could contine, it was all my well meaning relatives and friends that said I was asking too much of my body, and I do think that stopping did help with the whole spotting issue. I still feel bad.

My kids are all acting out of sorts in one way or another - one friend said that they may not know why - but they know that mommy is not herself and they react to that..another thing to feel bad about?- dont know - I am the one suffering the consequences... a bunch of moody/kvetchy/chutzpadik kids. I must admit - they are still pretty cute when they sleep.

In the meantime I am like in early nesting mode - can't think of any other way to describe it - unless it is just post pesach cleaning neurosis... I feel like I have to reorganize my whole house - declutter - file papers - redo closets and cabinets....The problem is I get as far as 1 load of laundry or 1 sink of dishes and I need a nap. I then wake up in the morning even more frustrated. I know I need to calm down and put things in perspective.

I recently read an article on about a woman who discovers she has breast cancer and creates the motto - "Everything I have, I need" - meaning that Hashem provides us with what we need - exactly what we need - we are not lacking - and things that we have that we may think we don't need are given to us for a reason... trying to think about that concept more often and just take one day at a time.


RaggedyMom said...

Hatzlacha with these transitions. When to wean is so individual, among mothers and each child. I see that with myself and friends more and more. Try to let go of the guilt! I like the quote from Aish - something hard to internalize, but a worthwhile goal!

frumhouse said...

I always felt a little sad after weaning my kids. There was always something unspoken that let me know it was just time to do it. I think it was hardest with my last baby, as he will probably be the last baby of our family. At least you know you have another one on the way to have that special bond with, K"H!

Have a good shabbos!

mother in israel said...

Glad to see things have improved. You know, I find that when I am really in a bad state and genuinely sick, my kids leave me alone, but if I am just cranky or annoyed, they are more demanding. Don't know if that holds true for you.

Every weaning can be hard even if both sides are ready. And it takes a while to develop the mothering tools to replace nursing, but you will! Hatzlachah.

Happy Mom of 6 said...

raggedymom - I have always known that I was ready to wean - this time I felt that we both werent ready..AND now I have to learn how to feed him food :)thanks for the comfort

Frumhouse- knowing there is another one helps in someways - but I dont like the feeling that I have cheated my little one out of something that is rightfully his.. thanks

MII - thanks for your support - Ihave thrown myslef into keeping the house in order and I find that I am feel better about myself - and therefore calmer around the kids..thanks for the good wishes