I have been reading around the jblogshepere (at shpitzle and mizellie). These topics seem to inevitably come up amongst women's conversations. Most women have either have dealt personally, or have friends who have dealt with one or more of these issues.
What do these three things have in common? It seems quite a few things.
1- All relate to with the mitzva of 'pru u'rvu' which , in some circles, means that they have some amount of peer pressure and/or publicity involved.
2- All three are directly related to a women's physical and mental state and (even if the man is that is the cause of the infertility) the women suffers more than man, either agonizing over the issue, or emotionally dealing with the loss or status quo.
3 - All three subjects are taboo is most circles. No one talks about it - no one admits to it - unless it is obvious, and necessary to discuss it.
4- The thing that seems to most tie these issues together is the fact that NO ONE ever says the right thing to the person who is directly dealing with the issue.
Comments I have heard directly or indirectly:
"At least you have a husband."
"If you lost it, than that means that it probably would have been deformed or something, baruch Hashem you were saved from that."
"I can totally understand that you would need a break- I mean those kids you have are a real handful- I can't imagine having to deal with them every day like you do."
"Motherhood is not for everyone"
"You have so much time for chesed, without distractions"
"If I was able to afford household help like that, I would never have such a big space between my kids"
"Did you ask a shaila? - Aren't you embarrassed?"
"I don't know what you did to deserve this."
I could go on..the point is even with the right intentions, sometimes things are better left unsaid - you have no idea how the other person will interpret what you are saying - especially if you are not close.
That brings us to number
5 - Usually it is none of your business!